Oh my word, no. Just, no.
If you’re reading this, you aren’t cool. Sorry. I mean, I think you’re great but those people out there? Them? At least 90% of them think beer is for boorish bogans or, maybe if you’re into that craft stuff, pretentious posers. There’s a reason we’re “beer nerds” or “beer geeks” and not “beer jocks” or “beer studs”.
Now that I’ve insulted everyone, let me explain where this is going. This is the film clip for the Violent Soho song, Saramona Said:
Violent Soho are pretty cool, or at least I could think that if I was still the greasy teenager I was a bit over ten years ago (back when Grinspoon filled this particular niche of the Australian music scene) that undoubtedly make up the majority of Violent Soho’s key demographic. They’re a four piece out of Brisbane’s southern suburbs and, while the song above only came out this year, they’ve been kicking goals on Triple J for a while now.
On Monday night, I was cruising Youtube, looking for music to pilfer. I started playing spot the Brisbane icon/beer brand. We begin with a Powers beer logo adorning the back of a classic Broncos jersey.
A bit over a minute later and hey, does that kid have a case of Stone & Wood?
Aww, shit just got real. I reckon he’s probably got a tulip or maybe an IPA glass in there too.
OK, I guess that’s one way to drink your beer. I mean, you’re probably missing most of the refreshing wheat malt mixed with strong passionfruit notes but, sure, each to their own method of drinking.
Interestingly, the car passengers don’t dispense of their now clearly empty bottles. The two empty – I can’t stress that enough – bottles seem to be the only signs of alcohol at the end-of-video concert.
It seems even though tastes have improved, I’m not sure beer’s standing has improved with the youth.
I also found a clip for Violent Soho’s 2012 single, Neighbour Neighbour.
Ugh, that’s goddamn Summer Bright.
C’mon, Strongbow? Please. It’s not even a real cider.
But if I may, can I draw a long bow on this? The band has gone from shitty XXXX and faux-cider in 2012 to beer bonging Stone & Wood in 2014. Shit, it’s only got to be a matter of time before this beer thing is cool with the kids, right?
Look, I usually find myself either in front of trends by a good twelve months or more – e.g. I was going to music festivals before most at my high school had even heard of the bands playing, or taking that example to it’s extreme, I was a hipster back in ’03 before anyone had even thought of the word – or years after the trend has passed – e.g. I just finished watching all five seasons of The Wire and was surprised to find it had finished in 2008. With this beer shindig though, I might’ve gotten on the timing right: early enough to be there when it’s exciting but not so early that there’s no one else around to talk to about it.
Kids: ignore that I called you greasy teenagers a few paragraphs ago and make this one happen for me. It’s probably the last chance I have to be cool.
I’ll just see myself out. Thanks for your time.