As a man who likes to end his sentences with a full stop rather than leave the blog without a firm conclusion, I had some grand plans for bringing Drunken Speculation to it’s timely demise. However, to borrow a Liggettism, the elastic has snapped. Blogging, surprisingly, requires regular practice if you want to retain some level of quality and there’s no longer the motivation to write anything, let alone the momentum required to construct a seven-piece neo-noir saga that ended up with some very harsh truths being delivered (e.g. do you reckon this craft beer thing may not be on the level?) and probably would have finished with my character face down in a pool of his own blood.
But now the world will be denied my half-assed execution of that concept because I’m hanging up the keyboard. The blog is not pining, it’s passed on. This blog is no more. It has ceased to be. It’s expired and gone to meet its maker. This is a late blog. It’s a stiff. Bereft of life, it rests in peace. This is an ex-blog.
For the record, I as a person will continue to exist but won’t describe myself as a blogger, not that I ever really did, and will continue to make and drink beer. I might even see you at Beer Incider this weekend.
I recently renewed the Wordpress subscription, so the website itself will stay up for another year. My Twitter account will still be there if you desperately need my thoughts on anything, as will the Facebook page, although I doubt it’ll get much love. The Instagram account went a while ago and no one seemed to notice so I guess there’s no loss there. Untappd will still be a thing but not used often.
As for me, I recently did a marathon and now I’m ending the blog. Any suggestions on what to do with my free time would be appreciated. It won’t include writing about beer and I doubt it’ll include charity work. I’d like to think I could use my powers of analysis and command of the English language to do some actual good for things that are actually important but I don’t think the internet needs another person telling everyone else what they should be doing with their lives. Now that I’ve written that sentence, I think the irony of it would almost be overwhelming, like Lagunitas selling out to Heineken (a post which chiefly irritated me because the first word is spelled incorrectly).
I’ll leave you with the immortal words of Krusty the Clown:
Thank you for coming.
“Smart lads who slip at times away,
“From fields where glory will not stay,
“Runners whom the race outran,
“And the name died before the man.”
– Krusty, does this have a point?
– Yes. I’m quitting show business. I was just trying to go out with a little class, you jackass.
Have fun out there and look after yourselves.